This weekend, I was looking over the goals I set for myself at the end of last year and thinking about the goals I’ll set for 2025. I usually set too many goals—at least a dozen—and I usually accomplish about half of them and roll the others over into the next year. This year is shaping up to be no different. I don’t mind, though, because when I look back over the years, I see gradual but steady progress in the right direction.
I’ve been setting annual goals for at least 25 years, and I’ve been writing them into a “dream” journal since 2009. I keep other things in the dream journal, too—lists of places I hope to travel to someday, lists of projects I want to finish, lists of movies I want to watch, and inspirational quotes I come across.
One of the most challenging goals I set for myself this year is one that it looks like I’m going to accomplish. I set out to be more social this year—I’m a homebody who is generally pretty happy staying in or socializing with my family members. Making new friends at my age is a challenge, too. I believe in setting specific goals—I’ve learned over the years that vague goals are more difficult to see through. So the goal I set for myself was to engage in one social activity each week in 2024.
Two rules:
It had to take place in public—visiting another homebody at their home didn’t count; and
It had to involve another human being.
Each week, I highlight the qualifying activity in yellow on my calendar, so I can see it.
I’ll be honest—this seemed a little too challenging when I began the year. It wasn’t easy to ask people to get together, at least not at first. It seemed like it would take a lot of intention and mindfulness and effort, and it did … in the beginning. Over time, though, it began to build on itself. When I invited someone to meet me for coffee or lunch, they’d invite me to get together a couple of weeks later. When I told people what I was doing, they made a point of inviting me to do things. When I began to say yes to things, more things popped up. Over time, I didn’t need to make an effort to get a yellow-highlighted event on my calendar—they began to show up organically. Over time, all it took was being open to it. Over time, it became a matter of saying yes.
This year, I’ve had lots of coffee dates, breakfast dates, lunch dates, and dinner dates. I’ve been to birthday parties, summer socials, book launch parties, and an Oscar party. I’ve been to a few brunches, potlucks, graduations, and happy hours. I’ve attended lectures, concerts, plays, and in-person meetings and activities of the writing groups I belong to. I organized a breakfast and cash mob at a small local bookstore. I took my grandchildren on a picnic. I threw a book launch event. 2023 Leanne would be shocked at the social butterfly I’ve become.
There are only two weeks left in the year, so it’s looking good for me to finish strong. I think I’m going to be able to cross this one off my 2024 goals list. But this has come to mean a lot more to me than something to highlight on my calendar or cross off a list. It’s become more than a goal. Connecting with our fellow human beings and getting out of the house are two things that are good for us. Reaching this goal has made my life better.
XOXO
Leanne
“Where is human nature so weak as in a bookstore?”
—Henry Ward Beecher, Star Papers
WEEKLY ROUND-UP
Monday Blog Post: My Greatest Hits: How Nick Hornby's novel Juliet, Naked taught me to celebrate my wins instead of bemoaning my losses.
My California: Be Kind, Ask for Help, Hang In There, Somebody Needs You: Some thoughts on preparing for the darkness of winter.
Virtual Office Hours #10: Can I Get Some Feedback on Feedback? Note: This post is a bonus I’m offering to paid subscribers, including the writers in my Fall Into Your First Draft program.
SOME THINGS FOR READERS
My favorite book rec sources: My go-to bookish folks when I need recommendations
(Michelle Martin for Literary Leanings by Michelle Reads Books
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Time
(Sarah Orman for The Manifest Station)
8 Books Reimagining the Monstrous Women of Mythology and History
(Nataly Gruender for Electric Literature)
SOME THINGS FOR WRITERS
Pep Talk: On Taking a Red Pen to Your Life
(Maggie Smith for For Dear Life with Maggie Smith)
On Virality
(Cassie Mannes Murray for Pine State Publicity)
The Flashback: A Greatly Misunderstood Storytelling Device
(Tiffany Yates Martin for Jane Friedman)
SOMETHING TO MAKE YOU SMILE
10 QUOTES (a mini course in the joy of reading)
“If a book is well-written, I always find it too short.”
—Jane Austen
“Reading is the finest teacher of how to write.”
—Annie Proulx
“Read the books they don’t want you to. That’s where the good stuff is.”
—LeVar Burton
“Think before you speak. Read before you think.”
—Fran Lebowitz
“No entertainment is so cheap as reading, nor any pleasure so lasting.”
—Mary Wortley Montagu
“Reading is the gateway skill that makes all other learning possible.”
—Barack Obama
“Books and doors are the same thing. You open them, and you go through into another world.”
—Jeanette Winterston
“I love books, by the way, way more than movies. Movies tell you what to think. A good book lets you choose a few thoughts for yourself.”
—Karen Marie Moning
“Books are a uniquely portable magic.”
—Stephen King
“That’s the thing about books. They let you travel without moving your feet.”
—Jhumpa Lahiri, The Namesake
Leanne Phillips
Writer | Book Coach | Editor
leannephillips.com
Thanks for reading my newsletter! If you liked it, please share it with a friend who might enjoy it. If you didn’t enjoy the newsletter, you can unsubscribe below.
What an inspiring Year of yes! Next time I'm in the SLO area, I will ping you for coffee, if you're still doing this!
I just finished reading Shonda Rhimes Year of Yes, which I assume inspired you. It does make me think. Perhaps you recommended it on my nonfiction reading survey? Thanks for this lovely post.